


If I can't have you

by hermajestytin



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst, F/M, Mid Episode 02x07, filler scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 13:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18367379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermajestytin/pseuds/hermajestytin
Summary: He just wants to console her, maybe ask her if there's anything they could do, he could do. But she just wants him to move on with his life. So that's what he'll do.





	If I can't have you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey!
> 
> So I have another one! I'm also thinking maybe I should just make a series of filler scenes or future ones since i've been super inspired lately (I guess I just can't seem to let go or it's part of my grieving process who knows) also cause Sara Bareilles just dropped a new album so more inspirations (but you don't care about that)! 
> 
> P.S this is a short one.
> 
> All the mistakes; timeline, facts, grammar, and typo are all mine. Also wish I own the rights for the show cause then will have 20 seasons not just 2.
> 
> Here it goes...

**_“Ooh, if I can't have you_ **

**_Then I'll have to find a way to get through_ **

**_Though I don't want to_ **

**_I have to do my best to recall_ **

**_That I'm thankful that I held you at all”_ **

 

**_”If I Can’t Have You” -- Sara Bareilles_ **

* * *

 

“ _Same place as always. Kicking ass and saving the world”_

 

That’s what she wanted. For things to go back to normal. But what is _normal?_

 

That’s not what he expects at all when he decided to go look for her.

 

When they got back from 1919 New York, Jessica is there waiting with everyone else, she launched herself on his direction to give him a kissed. He is aware of how it look like for the others, to Lucy, but he kissed her back anyway. He pulled Jessica to the direction of their bedroom with the echo of Lucy’s voice demanding to know who Agent Christopher has voted for last election behind him. He shook his head, smiled, and looked back before he and Jessica turn the corner.

 

Showered and changed into regular clothes the feeling of guilt is now stronger, of what he honestly don’t know the list is long nowadays. One things he’s pretty certain is he wants to find Lucy, talk to her at least. He’s not surprise to find her near a laptop with an article open, her back facing him. The article showed the success of suffragette, but the sadness in her voice when she talked about Alice Paul the fact that she’s not even on footnote or how she’s the only one who’s going to remember her has put him on auto-pilot. He reached out but she immediately stepped away before he could tighten his grasp around her. He’s mad about all of these, the situation they’re in but most importantly of Flynn. But then she starts talking about getting Jessica back and he can’t argue with that.

 

He was the first one to walk away. Because he have to, her mind is already set, she’s made her decision now he could only wish that he’ll come up with a decision as well. Sooner if possible. _Hoping._ He is still hoping she’ll call his name and ask him to return while he walk away but there is just silence behind him. He wanted to look back, go back, ask her again if maybe there’s something they could do. But she’s right, she’s always right, Jessica’s return is a miracle and after all the people they’ve lost through time travel, a miracle is something you cling on to, something you pray against all odds that will still be there when you return. Plus didn’t he spent most of his time before trying to figure out how to get Jessica back, he even stole that damn time machine to do just that. He is not the religious type but God knows he needed his help right now to sort his feelings and will power to put an end to his needs to be besides Lucy all the time. To reach out, to just feel her skin in his hands.

 

He is back in front of the door of their bedroom before he even realize it. Funny how not too long ago he use to share this room with Rufus, now it’s his and Jessica’s room. In a way he wonder if bringing Jessica here is even the right thing to do, It did feel like it is when he was still convincing her not to file for divorce but now he’s not so sure. Not only did it cause tension to everyone, mostly for him and Lucy, but now he also feels like he’s being unfair. Everyone has to leave their family behind, in some cases lose their family entirely, and there’s him; living in the bunker with his use-to-be-dead-wife.

 

Now Rufus and Lucy are force to alternately use the couch in the common area. Also why did Lucy have to sleep in that terrorist’s room anyway? He’s not going to lie, he spent the majority of his day trying to figure out how to get Flynn out of here, so when Lucy told him nothing happened between the two of them, the relief he felt was life altering. He didn’t even know he was holding in a breath and that his shoulders are tense ever since he saw her walked out of Flynn’s room that morning. She said they just talked and I guess now that the _other_ thing is out of the picture, the fact that Lucy went to him to _talk_ hurt more.

 

He use to be the person she confides to, someone who she shared her past with, her feelings. Maybe the old Wyatt would have hated it but the new Wyatt, Lucy’s Wyatt like it, he likes it a lot that he looks forward to it. Every down time they have in between time travelling and after, he will sometimes go straight after her to ask her how she feel. He figured maybe that’s how he starts developing feeling, he feels connected that he got to know her better with her own feelings, opinions, and stories of her past.

 

He stare at the bedroom door, wondered how long have he been standing in front of it. Contemplated for a second if he should go in, then looked back to the always too cold hallway that leads to Lucy. He could still feel her presence, her grief over the hero now lost in history, the pain he felt when she walked away from his embrace. He shouldn’t have reached out anyway, but it was a natural instinct, it was a knee jerk reaction. To console her when she’s feeling down, to make her feel better, to make sure that whatever happens she doesn’t feel sad anymore because she’s been through enough. Because there is something rewarding to be the one to make her smile.

 

1940’s Hollywood feels like a distant memory now, well technically it really is, it was a less complicated time amidst the chaos. The choice was easier then, it’s Lucy no doubt. Some could argue that maybe choosing Lucy that night might have the domino effect of having Jessica alive right now. But if given a chance would he have done something different? Maybe wait until they’re back here in the present until he kissed her? Maybe. But if he is being completely honest he wouldn’t have change a thing, cause no matter what the outcome maybe, he was glad that he has Lucy wrapped in his arm that night. He’ll just store that memory, that particular sensation in his arms in his brain together with the ones he already labeled ‘never forget’. At least he have that right?


End file.
